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Appropriate Manners for Visiting Graves
When a visitor arrives in a graveyard, he turns his face towards graves and, as our Prophet said, he salutes them: “O inhabitants of the land of believers and Muslims! May peace be upon you. Insha’allah we are going to join you. I ask Allah for the salvation of both you and us.” (Muslim, Janaiz, 104; Ibn Majah, Janaiz, 36).
Although the meaning of the narration by Hazrat Aisha is the same, its expression is a little bit different. According to the narrations by Tirmidhi and Ibn Abbas, the Messenger of Allah visited Madinah graveyard once and turning to graves, he said:
“O the inhabitants of the graveyard, peace be upon you! May Allah forgive us and you. You went before us and we are going to come after you.” (Tirmidhi, Janaiz, 58, 59). If one salutes a dead person he knows while passing by his grave, the dead person responds to his salutation and recognizes him. If one salutes a dead person he does not know while passing by his grave, the dead person responds to his salutation. (Gazali, Ihyau Ulumi’d-din, IV, Ziyaratu’l Qubur).
During visit to graves, one cannot perform prayers (salat). Graveyards can never be used as masjids. It is makrooh to perform prayers facing a grave. It is not permissible to put candles and light them up on graves. (Muslim, Janaiz, 98; Abu Dawud, Salat, 24; Tirmidhi, Salat, 236).
The Prophet prohibited lighting candles on graves because money is wasted for them and they are lit on graves for revering. It is makrooh to sit on and step on graves. (Muslim, Janaiz, 33; Tirmidhi, Janaiz, 56).
One must avoid uttering nasty and nonsense words which are unrelated to grave visits, walking in an arrogant manner and one must be in a modest state. (Nasai, Janaiz, 100; Tirmidhi, Janaiz, 46). One must avoid relieving nature in graveyards. (Nasai, Janaiz, 100; Ibn Maja, Janaiz, 46). It is makrooh to cut down trees and plants in graveyards. It is makrooh to make sacrifice near a grave, even though it is performed for the sake of Allah. And it is definitely haram to make sacrifice in order to make the dead content and get help from them. There are some who said it is shirk (attributing partners to Allah); because, making sacrifice is a kind of worship and only Allah can be worshipped. One cannot perform tawaf around graves like around the Kaaba. Asking for help from the dead and tying pieces of cloths or handkerchiefs on gravestones for this reason will not work. Believing that some graves and tombs heal diseases and considering their stones, soil and trees holy do not comply with Islam’s creed of tawhid.
It is called “tawassul” to make live or dead saintly people mediators for asking something from Allah. One in grave is incapable of being useful or harmful to someone else. According to Ibn Taymiyya and his followers, it is haram and even shirk to make saintly people, including prophets, mediators for asking something from Allah. And according to the majority of Islamic scholars, it is permissible to make saintly people mediators to ask something from Allah and to visit their graves for this reason. For instance, it may be a reason for the acceptance of prayers to say “Accept my supplication for the sake of Hazrat Muhammad, O my Lord, I am supplicating to you through him.” According to Hanafis and Malikis, it is more virtuous to visit graves on Fridays, on the days before and after Fridays, that is, Thursdays and Saturdays. According to Shafiis, it is more appropriate to visit graves from the afternoon on Thursdays until the morning on Saturdays. According to Hanbalis, it is not right to determine a specific day for visiting graves. In conclusion, although it is more virtuous to visit graves on Fridays, it is possible and permissible to visit graves on other days as well. (Abdurrahman al-Jaziri, al-Fiqh ala’l-Madhahibi’l Arbaa, I, 540).
TOMBS:
A tomb is a grave that is visited. It is a building with domes, built over the graves of eminent scholars, saintly people, dervishes, rulers, wives and children of rulers, emirs, viziers and commanders in Islam. The buildings built over non-Muslims’ graves are also called tombs. Graves of eminent Islamic scholars, over which a building is not built, are also called tombs as a respect for them. While visiting her father’s grave, Hazrat Fatima said:
“What happens to a person who smells the soil of Ahmad Alayhissalatu wassalam’s grave? S/he needs to smell nice scents such as musk all his/her life. I am covered with such calamities that if they were to cover the days, days would turn into nights.” (Qastalani, Mawahibu’l Ladunniyya, Egypt, 1281, II, 501).
She preferred to call the Honored Grave “Grave of Ahmad” in her speech. As a matter of fact, as an indication of respect to the Prophet, the Grave of Bliss (the Prophet’s grave) is not called “tomb” but “Rawda al-Mutahhara” and “Qubbatu’l-Khadra”.
The Prophet, in some of his hadiths, prohibited building buildings and masjids over graves. (see: Bukhari, Janaiz, 69; Muslim, Janaiz, 31-32, Masajid 63; Abu Dawud, 76; Nasai, Janaiz, 295, 339, 299). The majority of Islamic scholars said: Building houses, tombs, domes, madrasas or masjids or arbors is makrooh, though it is not haram, on condition that they are not built to show arrogance or wealth. If they are built to show arrogance and wealth, it is haram. It is unlawful to build a tomb in a public graveyard. If the grave belonged to the property of the dead person, it is makrooh to build tomb over it (see: Abdurrahman al-Jaziri, al-Fiqh ala’l Madhahibi’l Arbaa, Cairo, I, 536). Nevertheless, some Islamic scholars said it was permissible to build tombs over the graves of sheikhs, scholars, rulers and wives and children of rulers. There have been scholars who found it permissible to build tombs and domes if there are many buildings and domes like that in places where tombs are built and if those tombs and domes will not result in any kind of prestige such as respect and revering to them, apart from making the dead people recognized and their names known. (Hassan al-Idwi, Mashariqu’l-Anwar, Egypt, 1316/26).
It has been agreed by all except Wahhabis that it is necessary to put a gravestone so that the dead person’s name and where he lies will be known.
Except for gravestones which are necessary not to forget the dead person’s name and where he lied, unnecessary ornamentations and constructions must be avoided. The living people need the money spent on graves more than the dead. None of them will be of use to the dead except planting trees.
